i've been through a myriad of emotion. i've cried, i've laughed, i've screamed, i've stared, i've hyperventilated, i've gone without sleep, and i've lived.
in the past month i have made closer connections with the people i work with than i have in the past year i've known them. i have become more dedicated to my goals. i have invested more time in my students. i have thought more about my life than i have since i graduated high school.
i have also cried more than i have since high school, felt sicker to my stomach than i have since high school, and been more vulnerable to the sound of a man's voice than i have since high school.
in all reality, high school sucked, but this past month hasn't been all that bad.
i have people to call when i can't handle my feelings by myself. i have a place to call home at the end of the day. i have a plan for the next year of my life... and i feel good about all of this. i'm not the glowing, happy, shiny version of me, but i'm not quite as tarnished and wrecked as i was 4 weeks ago.
so, although some of this may feel like high school (or like dealing with the emotions brought on by a 17-year-old's relationship), this is much better than high school. there is a light at the end of this tunnel. there is some bright side. i will not be alone forever. someday, i am sure, i'll get to be in love again. i'm not destined to be singing 'desperado' forever.
i made it one month. here's to one more. :)
L
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