sleep smiling

One of the steps to recovery is trying again.

I was convinced I wouldn't try again. I'd avoid whatever came my way, change the station whenever a love song played, and generally devote my nights to reruns of Frasier and 30 Rock. (Okay, so my nights will probably always be devoted to reruns of some sort. TV is my first love. I cannot move on from that one.)

BUT! In the words of Taylor Swift:

"Hey Stephen,

boy, you might have me believin'

I don't always have to be alone."

Mm, I can't help myself.

I've been listening to 'Hey Stephen' all night, texting digital sweet nothings back and forth with my own Stephen, understanding more and more why Taylor wrote this song.

"Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so...

Can't help it if there's no one else.

I can't help myself."

I know I've felt all of this before, but it has been so long, and I was so convinced it'd be longer. So, even if this is destined to be short lived or tainted with unpleasant residual emotion, this smile has been plastered across my face all day. And now I'm going to sleep, and the smile... doesn't look like its going anywhere.

Sleep smiling. It sure has been a while. :)

L