blink, breathe, smile

i blinked today and something changed. 

something changed inside me, but i did not lose my footing. i did not falter. 

i blinked today, something changed, and the day is still going to end with a smile. 

first and foremost, i am not ready for a new relationship. i am not ready for anything. i am too damaged to even spend time with the same person multiple days in a row! i feel suffocated, stifled, and to be quite honest, i get bitchy. i get bitchy and i do not care. i, my friends, am not ready. and happy to say it out loud. 

but i am ready to cut ties with my old relationship. today J and i cut our final tie to one another. we were each still paying subscriptions on a monthly basis that served the other person. when we lived together these were expenses that just evened out. when we broke up there were bigger things to deal with. for the past couple months, salvaging our friendship was more important than thinking about bills that pretty much cancelled each other out anyway. 

but today we took a step. a big step. today we cut our last tie. and i feel fine. 

overall, today i ventured into new territory, and decided that this new place, lonely as it may sometimes be, is exactly where i belong. 

i belong. 

what a wonderful reason to smile. 

L