making me feel

Lesson learned, thanks to an episode of Dexter:

"It's not him that you miss... it's the way he made you feel about yourself...."

I can't help that he makes me feel wanted. I feel vital. I feel strong and powerful and sensual and gorgeous. When he's there I feel important, I feel on top of the world. I can't help that he makes me feel unstoppable.

it's not complicated, we're just syncopated, we can read each others' minds.

I am all of these things without him, but when he is with me, when I am with him, I am all of this and more. I am not only sure of myself but I am certain. I am not only strong but I am the epitome of strength. I am not only smart but I am brilliant. I become a brighter me. I glow. I shine. I light from the inside. He makes me feel just purely amazing. I am amazing. And I am so aware of it when he is around me.

this is way beyond the physical. tonight my senses don't make sense at all.

The damage he's done disappears when he's around. I give him trouble for it, but then I give it up. He doesn't charm me. I don't forget what he's done, I just stop caring. I just don't care. The glow- I can feel it fighting to come out. I can tell I'm starting to light up. I know I'm feeling that feeling that I get when he's here. And why put it off? Why punish myself? Why make myself miss out on this amazing high just because he can't behave? I shouldn't. It would be so terrible to deprive myself of this.

our imaginations taking us to places we ain't never been before.

I give in. I give in repeatedly. But I understand the consequences. The glow doesn't last forever. The smile fades. I come down from the surreal high he puts me on. The memory, though, that sticks. That sticks around to taunt me, tease me, put me back on mini-highs whenever I think of him.

All I have to do is smell the pillow.

(Don't you dare tell me to wash the sheets.)

don't even need to touch me... baby... just...

L

*lyrics from Britney Spears' Breathe on Me