wanting

There are guys who want me, and that's nice to know. Problem is I feel the need to be honest with them. I have been telling them the truth, once I learn their intentions, which is usually that I don't feel those all-important butterflies with them; I don't want them the way they want me.

How do I know what wanting is anymore, after so long with the same person? I know because at the moment I want someone. Someone out there is giving me those amazing butterflies when we are together, and I feel the pangs of lonliness when we are apart. I know what wanting feels like, and the ones who want me are not the ones I want.

Unfortunately, the one I want does not want me.

What a sad thing to realize. I'm not sure which is better: being told that you aren't wanted or finding out on your own through forgotten messages and ignored calls.

Either way, though, I suppose knowing the truth is better than
pretending otherwise.

Knowing what I want, though, would be best.

L