ringing

Picture your life without cell phones. (Take 30 seconds to really let it sink in.) I'm guessing you are home, reading at a leisurely pace, so you may not be as worried as you could be, but keep picturing. Now, where is your family? Where are your friends? You significant other? What are your plans for the night? What are your plans for tomorrow? Do you know what you're doing this weekend? Are you worried yet? Is it wrong that I am on the edge of my seat with anticipation?

C's cell phone fell into a sink last week while I was on my mini-vacation. Accidents happen, but I am such a worrier that there is no space for accidents on my watch. C was in charge of babysitting Killer, my cat/child. Without knowing that the phone had become inoperable, I was frantic worrying about whether Killer was being fed, getting water, getting attention, still alive. I came back home a day early. Didn't hear from C for a couple days, so I started to worry if he was fed, getting water, getting attention, still alive. He showed up in the middle of the night a couple days later, all is well. But without phone access he didn't have my number, and I had no access to him aside from calling him at work and exposing myself for the unreasonable worrier I am. He wasn't worried at all. He visited Killer every day until he noticed my stuff had reappeared. He STILL has not replaced his phone, and he is completely relaxed about it. I misplaced my phone for 20 minutes and my life flashed before my eyes.

The problem with this situation isn't that I am too attached to my technology. It isn't not having access to my baseball scores or expensive device that bothers me. What is burning inside my head when I'm without my phone is that I don't know ANYTHING. Suddenly I cannot remember where I'm supposed to be. I don't have any way to find anyone who does know where I'm supposed to be. I don't know who would know. I cannot text anyone. I cannot check facebook for clues. I get lost in my own mind. C not having a phone is killing me, and I rarely talk to him more than twice a week. Still, I call his phone once every few hours to see if it's still going to voicemail. I think just knowing he has access to a phone again will calm me a little.

I know I'm not the only one. I depend on this phone for so much more than just phone calls. Look at just how many facebook and twitter updates are made by mobile devices. Even blog entries are written and posted from phones. This hyper-need to stay connected-- an unreasonable amount of connected-- has to be doing something to us for the long term. Knowing where everyone is, what they're doing, how they feel, all the time... there has to be some terrible after-effect.
Or is this it? (As I call C. I'm obviously not too worried that this is the horrible ending to the obsession.)

It's ringing. I can breathe again.
L