I'm taking the leap. It is overwhelming and scary and huge... but I feel fine. I'm not in any of this alone.
boy i hear you in my dreams / i feel your whisper across the sea
It has been a habit of mine for the past couple years to assume that everything ends. And, because everything ends, I assume that there is no point in making a beginning. This mentality made for some really miserable days and some unbelievably magical ones. I wouldn't change a thing about any of it. The tears and the smiles were all worth whatever struggle they came with. But... (yes, there is always a but)
i keep you with me in my heart / you make it easier when life gets hard
I'm not dooming this with an end. I'm thinking as far to forever as I possibly can. Granted, for me forever right now could be anything from a day to 50 years; I'm not exactly stable. Luckily, he knows. He has known for a year. He has waited for me to be ready. He's put in more effort than I know, and all based on his belief that I'm worth it. I don't even know if I'm worth it. For some reason he does, and I can't explain how different that feels. He understands that I'm volatile and not exactly all in one piece, and for whatever reason, he's willing to deal with that. He wants to deal with me, wake up to me, flaws and all. For the foreseeable forever.
as the world keeps spinning round / you hold me right here right now
While I'm moving, and starting new jobs, and crying in my room at night over the uncontrollable loneliness I've come down with, he's there. For better or for worse.
Please don't let me screw this up.
L
*lyrics from Jason Mraz and Colbie Callait's Lucky
