B is a nice guy. Sweet, good looking, friendly, intelligent, funny, optimistic, and to top it all off, he treats me well. Where's the downside? On paper, this guy is perfect. He is well adjusted and easy to get along with. My friends like him. His friends like me. Downside? The downside is that I can describe him, his personality, his interactions with me and my friends, and all with a completely steady hand, steady heart, and without having to fight back a smile. There are no butterflies. There is no spark. We are already coexisting as if we'd been together for months.
So the question, again: can this last? And even if yes, is it worth it? I don't think so, but I'm too frightened to be sure.
Thinking of C still gives my heart a rush. When I see C in my dreams I wake up with a smile. Even the simplest text from C gives me a shot of adrenaline. A text from B makes me smile, but in the same way a text from a friend does- I am happy to know someone is thinking of me. A text from C puts my mind at ease.
Perhaps I'm setting impossible standards. Perhaps no guy, no matter how perfect, can really ever make my heart race as long as I have such a susceptibility to the virus C's carrying.
So: 1. succumb to safety, give up on the spark and butterflies and the rush of the honeymoon-happy-period? or 2. forget safety- keep tripping, falling, breaking down piece by piece in hopes that the spark appears again to light my way?
I wonder what's behind door #3.
L
